Adventure before Dementia or We booked a Drag Queen for Mum’s Life Celebration
ADVENTURE BEFORE DEMENTIA…..
We have all heard this saying …….
Here is a brief story of my mum’s life that truly epitomises this saying with humour, sadness, joy, celebration & truth PLUS some tips that we had to learn along the way
So YES it’s true for my Mum Estelle life celebration we did in fact have a drag queen to run bingo & perform a broadway musical number .
This is the end so let’s briefly start from the beginning & why we should all practice ADVENTURE BEFORE DEMENTIA.
My mum was a woman ahead of her times a true gypsy & together with my Dad had some incredible, amazing, scary and beautiful adventures
My parents accepted all people it didn’t matter their religion, race, gender, ethnicity, sexuality so they had a assortment of incredible friends.
When my mum was pregnant with me ( this is in the sixties) 2 of her besties were in Les Girls & where my unofficial godmothers.
Mum during her life before joining AA had some amazing trips , going to places that only the intrepid traveller would go.
USSR Russia in the 70’s along with Japan on both of these trips one arrest & nearly arrested
South & Central America in the early 80’s
My parents took us on many adventures as well countless road trips around the United States , Europe for education, Asia & of course Australia
My parents taught us tolerance, acceptance, roughing it & not everything goes as planned so you have to think on to your feet , changing your plans expect the unexpected but mainly collect memories instead of things
Sadly 2 years ago my mum spiralled into dementia after a short stay in hospital
My dear Dad & myself tried at best to care for mum until my dad had to make the hardest decision in placing mum in a care facility.
Then the unexpected happened my Dad died after falling from a ladder last year.
The job ( and I know that stay at home carers do a incredible amazing job that is thankless, sad & all consuming) was on me
Seeing my Mums deterioration was the saddest things I had to endure.
Sadly but bittersweet my mum passed away in February
So lessons I learnt …….,
TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT WILLS but MOST IMPORTANTLY POA’s & have a PLAN B
KNOW what your loved one’s wishes are . My parents both wanted their bodies donated to university, understand the requirements & let everyone you are dealing with the information needed to carry out wishes
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to have a break
HAVE SOMEONE you can vent too
HAVE a Good Lawyer
Be honest with your feelings
KNOW what wishes your parents wanted in songs etc
This will make this difficult time easier
So hence we didn’t have a funeral instead a life celebration for both .
Dads was attended by people from the Norah head community, family , friends .
Mums was more outrageous like her with stories , reflections & of course a beautiful Drag Queen . A day my mum would so appreciated.
So don’t wait just Do it , Have Fun , Give Thanks , Live Life , Wear the heels & Be YOU !!!
PS I’ll be back to writing my travel tips , stories .
The past 2 years have had my energy for my parents that I don’t regret one bit
With love peace & spirit of wanderlust be yours
Paula xxx